seen this on the net & wanted to share it. i do not know the exact belief of the original author
a collection of the best:
1. “nice bible.”
2. “is this pew taken?”
3. “i just don’t feel called to celibacy.”
4. “for you i would slay two Goliaths”
5. “i would go through more than Job for you”
6. “you are perfect, except with all the sin.”
7. “when Moses struck the rock, water flowed from it like a river. I promise I will never strike you.”
8. “you are so unblemished that i would sacrifice you.”
9. “what, this here? oh.. thats my study bible – it’s a little bigger but i can handle the extra spiritual and physical weight.”
10. “shall we tithe?”
11. “at points in my life i have been referred to as Samson”
12. “the word says ‘Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry’; how about dinner?”
13. “i didnt believe in predestination until tonight.”
14. “im not like those other Christ Church guys.”
15. “i believe one of my ribs belongs to you.”
16. “i know Lachlan Payne.”
17. (if no.16 gains no response) “Lachlan Payne knows me”
18. “i went on a beach mission but all I ended up doing was mission you.”
19. “i can be your Boaz.”
20. “my spiritual gift is my good looks… it lifts peoples spirits”
21. “i sacrifice my sunday mornings to look after the creche group. its tough… but i love children.”
22. “is this the transfiguration.. because you are glowing”
23. “i have a job.”
24. “mark driscoll takes up 35% of my ipod memory.”
25. “hey..for you I’d work seven years… and then seven more for your sister.”
(I don’t exactly know how this would benefit the user, but worth a try)
26. “im kind of a big deal at Koorong”
27. “hey good-looking, Ecclesiastes 4:11…”
28. “absolutely. i often throw clothes into the samaritan bin.”
29. “bible-gateway happens to be my homepage.”
30. “im a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am.”
31. “marry me.”
32. “can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?”
33. “i have many sponsor children. one in each developing nation.”
34. ” im one of the fortunate ones..greek and hebrew comes pretty easily to me.”
35. “my favourite species of vegetation is the church plant.”
36. “did i just have mud rubbed in my eyes?”
37. “what’s an xbox?”
38. “now i know why Solomon had 700 wives… Because he never met you.”
39. “i used to believe in natural theology, but since i met you i’ve converted to divine revelation”
40. “i look after widows”
41. “is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV Travel Bible in your pocket”
42. “why dont i have a bible dictionary? well, i dont really need it.”
43. “bathsheba had nothing on you”
44. ”you put the ‘cute’ back in persecution…”
45. “your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead”
46. “so, can i clothe you in righteousness?”
47. “how many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?”
48. “how would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?”
49. “if you say no, i will rip out my hair and my beard”
50. “if you say no, im going to tear my clothes, get in my sackcloth and rub dust into my head..”
51. “if you say no, i’m going on a pilgrimage.”
52. “unfortunately i cant perform miracles and ive only got enough bread and fish for 2 people.”
53. “so, my parents are home, you wanna come over?”
54. “let me remove my sandals before I come any closer..”
55. “lets say, hypothetically, you were married. I would send your husband to the front line against the Amorites”
56. “its obvious to me that you sprouted from the good kinda soil…”
57. “feel free to meet me at the threshing floor.”
58. “you can lie at my feet..”
59. “i know its absurd, but every time i walk towards you, it feels like im being lead to bethlehem.”
60. “if i had to choose between a romantic date with you or a night with the fellas… i would sit at home and read my bible.”
61. “i really like your spirituality, it goes well with that shirt.”
62. “welcome to the christian family… the only family where brothers and sisters can marry each other”
63. “i did a love tester on your name and mine.. it came back ‘predestined’”
64. “you’re totally depraved but i’d still like to go out with you…”
65. “you can come crash at mine tonight. i have a separate room prepared.”
66. “i’m a proverbs 32 kind of guy and you’re a proverbs 31 kinda woman…”
67. “im interested in full time ministry, and not only that… i also play the guitar.”
68. “mmm… you really have to watch out for that man of lawlessness.. but dont worry, im not him, so you’re safe with me.”
69. “if we were around with noah… then you, me… pair.”
70. “i arrange the substantial christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. coffee?”
